Handy Sale Advertisement Guide.

In this holiday season (and pretty much any other time, now) it is nearly impossible to avoid the bombardment of advertisements. Maybe i’ve been growing cynical, but i have become a lot more antagonistic toward companies that advertise in ways i don’t like. So here is the handy guide i use to interpret ads.

1. Sign says: “Deals starting at just $20!”

   i read: “Absolutely nothing under $20”

2. Sign says: “Save at up to $10!”

   i read: “You cannot save more than $10”

3. Sign says: “Buy one get one half off”

   i read: “Spend 50% more than you were planning”

4. Product has a celebrity endorsement

   We could not sell this product without bribing someone rich and famous to say it’s good.

5. Sign says: “Make your holiday complete…”

   i read: “You will be complete… until we release the next version”

Obviously there are a lot more of these, and i will add more as i think of them. In the mean time, happy holidays!